Calm

Introduce yourself

Hi, my name is Tanner Elensky, my power name is Calm, and I attended Camp 42, surf camp in Maui.

Personal story

I could type you a novel detailing my whole journey but I'll use the story that I've watched firsthand change my life for the better. It's when I discovered Self-worth on the healing journey.  

The most embarrassing moment of my life came the day I was diagnosed. Before I knew how bad my diagnosis was, I was told I had leukemia and further tests needed to be done, I had an hour and a half car ride where all I knew was I had a form of leukemia.

In that car ride I asked myself "No matter how bad this could be, am I going to fight or am I going to give up? Do you have it in you to fight this?"  My answer to myself was I would rather die than go through this. I was ready to quit before the battle even started.

For the next 5-10 minutes I felt helpless and empty inside. Then, something inside of me went off and I had the thought of "I don't care if you won't fight for you, there's people in your life that value you more than you value yourself.  Fight for them."  So that's what I did. That's what got me through my chemo. 

For the next three months I survived: I woke up every morning, went through the motions, and went back to bed. I ended up in a very depressed place. My best friend would call me multiple times a week and ask me how I'm doing, and I'd say to them "I'm doing great, I'm fine" and then one day they snapped back at me and said "Tanner, you tell me that every time I call and ask! Quit lying to me and tell me how you're doing!" 

I then proceeded to say out loud, for the first time, that I wasn't fighting for myself. I was fighting for a handful of people. I remember them saying back to me "Hey, there's nothing wrong with that, you're selfless."

And while they're correct, that there's nothing wrong with fighting for others, I wasn't fighting for the 1 person that I needed to be fighting for. And that was myself. 

I remember hanging that call up and crying, but I knew what I needed to do to go from surviving to thriving. Obviously I didn't magically get better as it took me a year and a half to pull myself out of that dark place, but this is what started me down a path self value.  

Power name story

I chose the name ‘Calm’ because I never got anywhere in my healing journey until I learned how to remain calm regardless of what was going on around me.  

A fun fact about you

I coach a travel baseball team!

Talk about your involvement with Project Koru

Currently I am in the leadership training program, Farman Fellows.

Why did you choose to be a leader? What does being a leader mean to you? 

I chose to apply to Farman Fellows because helping others who have gone through the trauma of cancer is something I've always wanted to do, and PK not only gives me that opportunity, but PK creates a family while doing it. 

My friends and Ohana have also played a big role in this as well. Both have helped me realize that helping others is the real work I should be doing.

What does empowerment mean to you and how does it show up in your life? 

To me, empowerment is having the confidence to control your own destiny.

Empowerment occurs for me when I grow as a person or empower others. I feel empowered when I think about all the obstacles I've conquered and lessons I've learned in my cancer journey. I feel empowered when I step outside of my comfort zone, challenge myself, and learn something new. And I feel empowered when I help others.

What does being part of the Ohana mean to you? 

Being part of the PK Ohana is unique and nice to be apart of because it's a community that is selfless and is there for you on your good days and your bad days.

What advice would you give to new survivors?

It's okay to feel how you feel. Don't be afraid to ask for help! You are worthy.

An exercise I've done with friends that has given positive results: I have them make a list of where they draw their strength from, whether that be family, friends, places, etc. Usually there's one thing missing from their list - themselves! I know it may not be easy to value yourself now, but you eventually will!

Talk about your Camp Koru experience 

Camp showed me three things. The first was that cancer doesn't hold me back from accomplishing what I want to accomplish. Second, all the work I've been doing internally to better myself and get over the cancer diagnosis was working, and because of that my confidence took a huge boost! Which leads me to my last lesson I learned, that it was time for me to start helping others.

How has community and/or outdoor adventure helped you heal?

By showing me that the only thing stopping me is myself.